Man sues doctor after his bum was stapled shut….

September 29, 2008

Read this this morning.  Another tale of medical woe that made me laugh out loud.  Some of the comments readers posted were just as funny.  I’ll include them below also.

A man alleging a Maryland doctor stapled his rectum shut during an operation — causing him to go without defecating for 17 days — took his federal lawsuit to trial Monday in Baltimore.

Ronald Watkins, 64, of West Virginia, is suing Manuel Casiano, a doctor in Frederick County, for allegedly botching a 2004 surgery that left Watkins with permanent bowel problems.

“The reason for suing Dr. Casiano is very simple: His rectum was stapled shut,” said Julia Lodowski, who with attorney Emily Malarkey is representing Watkins and his wife, Brenda.

Lodowski told jurors in U.S. District Court that Watkins now experiences “rectal discharge” and needs to wipe himself between 12 and 15 times a day.

Watkins underwent surgery Sept. 8, 2004, for a newly diagnosed rectal tumor, during which Casiano made the mistake, according to his lawsuit against the Foris Surgical Group.

Watkins then complained of increasing rectal pressure, and an inability to pass gas, his lawsuit states.

In a subsequent surgery, Casiano found that Watkins’ rectum was closed because of staples, according to the lawsuit.
“He couldn’t get past the staple line,” Lodowski told jurors.

“How else do we know that his rectum was stapled shut? Most importantly, Dr. Casiano said so.”

And the rather hilarious comments?

bellamary: “My condolences–he should get extra $ for this showing up in the paper!”

Nicole: “17 days? Bet it felt like 17 YEARS…poor fellow!”

battmann187: “If I was the judge I would put some of the rsponsibility on the man. If I hadn’t gone to the bathroom in 2 days I would have been in somebody’s E.R. 17 days without taking a dump….come on!”

: “must have felt great on the 18th day lol”

*Wipes a few tears away*


Man Sues Doctors For Removing His Penis

September 25, 2008

I was going to try and write a humourous caption to this story myself but the writer over at The Consumerist does a fine job on his own:

What part of “circumcision” was unclear? That’s basically what a Kentucky man and his wife are asking of two doctors who cut off the man’s penis while he was under the knife. The doctors say they discovered cancer and made an emergency decision. The man says, dude, wtf, you cut off my penis. It doesn’t grow back, and it was kind of important to me.

We’ve just made a new note to self: if we ever have surgery, we intend to grab the doctor by the collar and say vigorously to him, “No matter what happens, don’t you cut off my penis.” Who knew you had to worry about that sort of thing.

I’d be kinda miffed too…

Read the original story here.  Or watch the news story video here.


Russian Town Puts Giant Smiley On Google Maps

September 25, 2008

Lifted straight from Slashdot:

Giant Smiley On Google Maps

Giant Smiley On Google Maps

“Citizens of the Russian town Chelyabinsk calculated when the satellite, QuickBird, which takes images for Google Earth and Google Maps, would cross above their city and used people to make a giant smiley face. A rock concert on the main square attracted many people and everyone got a yellow cape. It looks like someone at Google was quicker than usual to put up the new data. Maybe Google likes the idea of an entire town working hard to get its 15 minutes of fame. The article has a screenshot of Google Maps and images taken directly at the event.”

Sweet.


Human breast milk ice cream, seriously…

September 25, 2008

PETA officials say a move to human breast milk would lessen the suffering of dairy cows and their babies on factory farms and benefit human health.

Here is the letter in full:

September 23, 2008

Ben Cohen and Jerry Greenfield, Cofounders Ben & Jerry’s Homemade Inc.

Dear Mr. Cohen and Mr. Greenfield,

On behalf of PETA and our more than 2 million members and supporters, I’d like to bring your attention to an innovative new idea from Switzerland that would bring a unique twist to Ben and Jerry’s.Storchen restaurant is set to unveil a menu that includes soups, stews, and sauces made with at least 75 percent breast milk procured from human donors who are paid in exchange for their milk. If Ben and Jerry’s replaced the cow’s milk in its ice cream with breast milk, your customers-and cows-would reap the benefits.Using cow’s milk for your ice cream is a hazard to your customer’s health. Dairy products have been linked to juvenile diabetes, allergies, constipation, obesity, and prostate and ovarian cancer. The late Dr. Benjamin Spock, America’s leading authority on child care, spoke out against feeding cow’s milk to children, saying it may play a role in anemia, allergies, and juvenile diabetes and in the long term, will set kids up for obesity and heart disease-America’s number one cause of death.Animals will also benefit from the switch to breast milk. Like all mammals, cows only produce milk during and after pregnancy, so to be able to constantly milk them, cows are forcefully impregnated every nine months. After several years of living in filthy conditions and being forced to produce 10 times more milk than they would naturally, their exhausted bodies are turned into hamburgers or ground up for soup.And of course, the veal industry could not survive without the dairy industry. Because male calves can’t produce milk, dairy farmers take them from their mothers immediately after birth and sell them to veal farms, where they endure 14 to17 weeks of torment chained inside a crate so small that they can’t even turn around.The breast is best! Won’t you give cows and their babies a break and our health a boost by switching from cow’s milk to breast milk in Ben and Jerry’s ice cream? Thank you for your consideration.

Sincerely,Tracy Reiman

Executive Vice President

I’m all for animal rights and such but Jesus!

PETA strikes me as an organisation with an excellent sense of humour.  Either that or they have serious issues.


A day for dirtiness…

September 24, 2008

Not even a few minutes after my last post I come across this!

Woman ‘tricked into sex’ by penis cream treatment

A Syrian-born airline pilot allegedly tricked a schoolteacher from Haverfordwest into having sex with him by pretending he had to administer ointment on the end of his penis, a jury heard yesterday…

… on the “doctor’s advice”, he kept a clock on the bedside table to time the sessions.

… The teacher put up with the treatment for nine months before telling her doctor…

…Sbano claimed he was in talks with a gynaecologist who was anxious for a certain cream to be applied, the prosecutor said….

… He (Sbano) suggested he would apply the cream to his penis and apply it inside her….

… Mr Rees said the woman found the sessions “Clinical, not at all erotic”. She consented only because she believed it was a proper treatment …

The internet is throwing up THE material today.  Unbelievable.  You can read the full article here.


Blogger asks for sperm…

September 24, 2008

You find yourself amazed by something everyday on the net and today is no exception.

I found myself reading about a blogger on http://ebjones.typepad.com/eric_jones_weblog_the_gar/ who amazingly, but truly enough, is asking her readership for sperm.  I’ll plagiarize a few select quotes here:

I always imagined that I would have my first baby after being married and that having a family would be more of a partnership than a solo venture. But as we all know, life rarely goes as expected.

Now, I’m not looking for a source of child support or a baby-daddy in the sense that he should have any supportive role in the pregnancy or in raising the child, I just need some good, hearty seed.

Now, my first thought was to go to a sperm bank because it doesn’t get much more NSA than that, but I had to reject this idea.  First, pay for semen?  Really??  That notion goes into the same bucket as paying for air or sunshine or, well, sex.

And so it goes on to the point where she asks for donations, and not via Paypal…..

Anyway, read more via the above link and be amazed, appalled or simply leave your details for her…


Fill in the blanks

April 14, 2008

Mating Combinations

We shall see how the knowledge of simple mating patterns can help in finding quite complex combinations which my decide the outcome of the ____.   Much of ____ thought might be described as visualising a desired end position, then working out if such a position can be attained and how.  The mating schema which follow give the ideas for the end positions.  In the ____ positions following each mating pattern, the essential details of the pattern are all there, if not quite in the right places to deliver the ____ ____ immediately.  It is the job of the ____ to ascertain whether he can force the other bits of the jigsaw into place.

Answers on a postcard please…. But feel free to cut and paste and answer in the comments if the mood takes you.

I’ll post the ‘solution’ in a few days.   Maybe even a reward for the ‘best’ answer.  Who knows.