10,000 BC

Yep, I have watched it against my better judgement and after switching off at some point near the end I realised my better judgement is just that.

I had read the reviews and obviously know of Emmerich’s previous work, which peeked at the heights of his first film Independence Day and has slowly filled the testosterone heightened teenage boys lust for CGI over substance ever since.  And yet I still put it on.

What can I say to give you an idea of what you would be letting yourself in for if this graces your media player.

Well, think Dawson’s Creek / One Tree Hill / Desperate Housewives style acting. Basically the state of play of most American soaps with a few notable exceptions.  Then take your perception of said ‘dramas’ above and lower the acting bar a few notable percentage points, think maybe 40 – 50 %.  (They can’t afford to pay a decent cast after splurging on over the top CGI to drive the no existent story).

The story?  Think the Lord of the Rings style fantasy, except LOTR story is based on far more fact….

Ok, so I have given you a brief outline of my thoughts so far.  So lets go in-depth….

Except we can’t.  That is about as in-depth as the film gets.

Convoluted love story, fictional setting with a handful of facts about the historical period of 10,000 years ago, more than a handful of historical inconsistencies, abysmal acting,  2D characters, adequate CGI (which the film relies on totally, as it is the only substance to be found).

I was going to say this is a poor mans Apocalypto, but then that is way too generous.

Every other review I have seen is correct, and there are dozens.

Avoid.  Avoid.  Avoid.

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