I have spent 25 years of my life being this way and I think it’s time for me to change it. In fact I think thats what I have been telling myself for a while.
I have started the vegan thing, and I said that was about a challenge.
I don’t think thats true, I think I am just realising that I can’t treat myself this way. The way I have been treating myself is piss poor and I think the vegan thing is just my way of trying to tell myself.
I’m sick of having major stomach pains and everything else related to my standard of living.
So I have made a choice.
No more alcohol, no more legal drugs.
As of waking up tomorrow I’m done with those things. Does it mean I am lowering my quality of living or my ability to appreciate the things in life that make things worth while? No.
Nothing about me is going to change other than the way I treat myself.
Yes I will still like to fuck women up the arse and yes I will still have the same sick sense of humour. The reality of it is is simply this:
I want to live into my 30’s to do and say all the sick shit I do and the way I am going atm (hah atm) it isnt going to happen. I’m not afraid of death, I’m afraid of what I will miss if I die.
Years of drug abuse in my teens and legal drugs in my twenties and other stuff that I don’t air in public doesnt cut it anymore. Even if it is just alcohol or the rare other thing.
I would say get ready for the new me, but nothing you guys see is going to change, just me personally.
I can see now why I was thinking the funeral blog thing lol. I just hope it isnt too late to undo whatever damage I have done.
Now for a quote, one I didn’t look up, just that I know by heart…
“But that the dread of something after death, the undiscovered country from who bourn no traveler returns, puzzles the will and makes us rather bear those ills we have than to fly to others that we know not of?”
Shakespeare Hamlet (the to be or not to be speach if you are wondering)