My Funeral

I spent sometime thinking about what I want for mine the other day.  Probably due to my addiction to Six Feet Under, that has gripped me ‘atm’.  atm is always going to make me chuckle now.  Anyways, moving on……

So what would I like, well, I would want it to say something about me, not some generic shit.  I thought about music, about a service etc, and what I came up with was pretty simple.  I did think about not offending any of my older family, but then they will hopefully all be dead when I cop it.  That doesnt sound nice, but you know what I mean.

I don’t want to be within a mile of a church for starters.

I want to be buried.  (Now there is reasoning behind this and it was tough to decide.  The thought of asking to be in an Urn on a mantel piece with a photo of me grinning stuck to the front was very appealing, but I thought maybe it wouldnt be appropriate in the end.  Damn my half decent side to hell, pun intended.  So being buried allows people, hopefully a long trip, at least once a year, so they can wail (I’m hoping) and put flowers and stuff.  At least it will take some effort, so dont bury me near anywhere, make a day trip out of coming to see me.  That means no one will visit after the first year heh.)

I want the service plain and simple.  No hymns.  Certainly not a bloody open coffin.  Just family and any close friends I might have talking and reading things I liked maybe.  I would say sitting in a circle, but thats too pretencious.  Music, hmmm, I’m not too sure about that one.  Highway To Hell I think as people arrive.  And Free Falling at the end.  Or the other way around.  My tastes will be obvious I think.

Each seat is to have a copy of ‘The God Delusion’ by Richard Dawkins on it for everyone to keep.  Unless God has been proved to exist by then, then I’ll have a church service with all the trimmings and be at the pearly gates chatting with St Peter and not succeeding heh

Oh, and I dont want anyone there as I get stuffed in the ground, I want everyone to go straight to a reception somewhere and get drunk.  Really drunk, cos I won’t be able to.  Sucks being dead.

I think that will do for now.  If I come up with anything else I’ll do a part two.

Stupid internet is back online.

‘If you can find something everyone agrees on, it’s wrong.’
– Mo Udall

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